I need to be reclassified. From what to what I have no idea but I feel like it's from "Learning Domme with Inexperienced sub" to "Learning Domme with a lazy boyfriend who just doesn't get it!"
I'm obviously having a bad day, but I'm sick of working myself to death AND have to save every moment of "quality alone time" with my pet for kinky D/s sex.
Don't get me wrong. I love D/s sex, I love the play, the dressing up, the fantasising, the planning, bondage, punishment, humiliation... but PLEASE can I have something in return?
Remember that I was coerced into this. I didn't ask to be the Domme, but now that I am I want to relish every moment. I want TIME to pamper myself every evening, to make myself feel a Goddess and just to relax and fantasise my deviant dreams.
I'm happy to be a housewife and a mother... but I really REALLY can't cope with housewife, mother, DIY enthusiast, gardener, chef... and on it goes.
I ache today, I'm in a lot of pain. I don't know why but I think I'm just worn out. (Oh Goddess am I *that* old?)
I know what you will answer... dump him, find another sub, turn cuckoldress... but I can't it's not in me.
I have to admit that I'm fantasising more about cuckoldress more often. It's what's in my head and how I verbally humiliate during sex now. But its not right for me in many ways, mainly children... I couldn't hide it well enough and I couldn't explain it to them.
I wish to heavens that I could take it back, never have tasted the Domme lifestyle, and carried on as vanilla-with-kink me... I'm just not very happy today.
Oh and if your other suggestion is "communicate", every time I try to talk to him I'm "moaning" or he complains that he "can't do anything right" or "I know the problem is with me"... but he just doesn't seem to want to do anything about it.
So... thanks for listening.
Wednesday, 30 April 2008
Posted by Mistress Watchful at 17:32
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I have been reading some of your posts at chastitiylifestyle for some time. I must say that I very much like your writing and your willingness to be a Dom. Sometimes us submissives can be strange fish, and while we don't mean it, it can be hurtful to our significant other. Sometimes we need a little kick up the backside to get our acts together. These are not excusable but always remember its never your fault. I really do hope thinks do work out for you. My Mistress found Elise Sutons books very informative. While we are venturing down the cuckold pathway, it is not for everyone. Feel free to check out our blogs or contact us if you wish. Take care
I hope he realises just how fortunate he is, before he isn't...
Sohie made a good point about the kick on the backside. Might be that he is testing you? Also, maybe you just need to do some re-training. Here is a tip from one of the D/s classes Goddess and i went to... when training try to emphisis the GOOD points. Say things like "I love it when you do (...)" or "It really pleases me when you do (...) this way, instead of the way you are doing it now."
IF your hubby is really a service submissive he will begin to do things to make you happy and hopefully do things better. Proper training will take a while and ultimitly you may also need to get "the rod" out to make sure your subby isn't spoiled. Just be sure to use it sparingly.
Another point... there are times i feel rather resentful that i havr to do the dishes, clean the house, whatever. THose are feelings that the submissive jsut needs to work through and eventually get over. Truthfully, they really doen't make sense. Look at us tonight for example... my chores are done, I am playing on the computer and Goddess is working Her butt off on Her work and the finances. My work I did earlier today. SHE is feeling resentful that i am playing on the computer!
Well, off to bed for us now. Good luck with your subby hubby!
Post a Comment