I need to be reclassified. From what to what I have no idea but I feel like it's from "Learning Domme with Inexperienced sub" to "Learning Domme with a lazy boyfriend who just doesn't get it!"
I'm obviously having a bad day, but I'm sick of working myself to death AND have to save every moment of "quality alone time" with my pet for kinky D/s sex.
Don't get me wrong. I love D/s sex, I love the play, the dressing up, the fantasising, the planning, bondage, punishment, humiliation... but PLEASE can I have something in return?
Remember that I was coerced into this. I didn't ask to be the Domme, but now that I am I want to relish every moment. I want TIME to pamper myself every evening, to make myself feel a Goddess and just to relax and fantasise my deviant dreams.
I'm happy to be a housewife and a mother... but I really REALLY can't cope with housewife, mother, DIY enthusiast, gardener, chef... and on it goes.
I ache today, I'm in a lot of pain. I don't know why but I think I'm just worn out. (Oh Goddess am I *that* old?)
I know what you will answer... dump him, find another sub, turn cuckoldress... but I can't it's not in me.
I have to admit that I'm fantasising more about cuckoldress more often. It's what's in my head and how I verbally humiliate during sex now. But its not right for me in many ways, mainly children... I couldn't hide it well enough and I couldn't explain it to them.
I wish to heavens that I could take it back, never have tasted the Domme lifestyle, and carried on as vanilla-with-kink me... I'm just not very happy today.
Oh and if your other suggestion is "communicate", every time I try to talk to him I'm "moaning" or he complains that he "can't do anything right" or "I know the problem is with me"... but he just doesn't seem to want to do anything about it.
So... thanks for listening.

Still waiting for our device!

It wasn’t teeth, we thought it was chicken pox, turns out it was a virus, and now she has an ear infection. Joys of parenthood!

Well, I had a lovely day yesterday despite the fact I was revising throughout. For some bizarre reason I seemed to attract a lot of male internet attention. I have no idea why, but I had PM conversations going, a Facebook conversation going and general attention in my direction. I’m not complaining!

Thank you to those of you with whom I engaged in lengthy conversations. I had some very kinky ideas developing in my mind, oh and some boring ones regarding my life… we’ll skip over those.

Not many days now until our device turns up (I hope!) I keep checking and checking the site to see if it has been created. I’ve been thinking more about chastity lately, and what I want when we can go full time.

I still have a niggle that it won’t fit correctly straight away, and I don’t want to get my hopes up too much, but other than that I can’t wait to get training my naughty little pet.

Last night he was up at midnight and rushed out to get Grand Theft Auto IV. I didn’t mind, I was jealous… *I* wanted to be in line chatting with all the sad, nerdy boys… they’re so easy to flirt with. A little bit of female attention (real life that is, not booby bouncing anime chicks!... although I quite fancy those myself!) and they’re gagging for it. What appears to make it hotter for them is the fact I am also a bit of an XBOX nerdette. (OK, a fairly new XBOX nerdette, but still…they don’t know that!) Oh, if anyone would like to add me to their XBOX friends list, do drop me a chatty email with your ID and I might add you.

Distracted… ummm… oh yes, naughty, selfish pet. He is now sleeping it off because not only did he buy it, he stayed up all night playing it. I’m just jealous. He didn’t get me a copy (they were limited) so I’m in a bit of a sulk. Also I’m still revising so I can’t get right into it straight away.

So I have to sleep in bed with baby wriggling and fidgeting, and get up at a ridiculous hour to revise, get ready and go sit my first exam. So I’m a peeved about the whole thing and feel like a little discipline wouldn’t go amiss.

Oh… I have also found my camera, which means I have some pictures of charlotte (first version) that I need to up-load. That was when charlotte was blonde, she’s a brunette now and it suits her much better. I have a lovely little outfit I’m just desperate to get charlotte into, so here’s hoping for some quality time soon!

Teething!

No... its not a kinky new idea, its my baby daughter!

I feel like I haven't slept in weeks (although it's actually just a few days).

I'm completely shattered, although I have managed to get up drop-dead early twice this week and go on my treadmill, so I am feeling a bit better about myself.

pet is being fairly well behaved, but we have had our usual conflicts... mainly due to tiredness.

Hopefully we'll be back on track soon with everything once life settles down!

I can't wait!

I don’t think its been any secret that since I ordered a Lori device for my pet I haven’t really wanted it to turn up.
The whole lifestyle just wasn’t appealing to me, it seemed like too much pressure, I didn’t think I was good enough at it…. Ad infinitum!
But… yesterday something happened to get me excited again!
At the end of March we had been to Sh! And bought 2 new dildos for our strapons, a longer, thinner one for me to use on pet, and a shorter, fatter one for pet to use on me. I wasn’t bothered, I didn’t really see the point, but we don’t go to London very often so I thought we might as well get them “just in case”.
We’ve never got round to using them, firstly because I hadn’t been interested and secondly because we never have the child-free time for kinky sex sessions lately.
Our baby girl was supposed to be going away for the night on Thursday, but illness got in the way and it didn’t happen. Pet and I had “sort of” been thinking about doing something sexy, if not necessarily kinky, and we were both really upset that we wouldn’t be able to… the feelings escalated and eventually I flipped my lid saying I was desperate to get kinky!
Pet immediately phoned his mother, made arrangements and within a couple of hours we would be alone together!!! Hooray!!!
I made sure I sent pet on a few errands whilst I prepared at home. First thing was to pop a DVD on whilst I tidied the bedroom, so every so often I would look up and see this guy dressed in a fishnet body stocking with a huge penis fucking two girls and being sucked off… it was delicious!
I put our new playsheet on the bed, it looked great, really set the mood. Then I got out all our dildos for the strap on and lay them out on the side, along with different lubricants and a couple of anal toys.
I lay out all my crops and paddles by the bed, hung the body sack, hood and butt plug harness over the end of the bed, and attached the chains to the foot and head of the bed. I was starting to overdose on horniness!
I chose an outfit for charlotte, and got all her make up and things ready. It was my intention to play with charlotte more than anything else… but it didn’t work out like that.
Pet returned home with flowers, chocolates and delay spray! (All my errands) I made him strip at the door and told him he was to crawl everywhere unless told otherwise.
I made him arrange my flowers for me (whilst crawling on the kitchen floor!) and then sent him upstairs.
I had so many things planned that I can’t really fathom what happened next!
Because it had been a long time since we played, I had printed off a nice long checklist for pet to tick yes and nos for the session… I made him kneel there at my feet and fill it in. It seemed to take forever! I think he was playing for time and that pissed me off… so when he finished I screwed the whole thing up, threw it away and told him I didn’t give a fuck what he liked and didn’t like and I would do what I wanted!
I wanted to be fucked, and with all premature ejaculation problems lately we put the spray on (pet was NOT happy saying it burned, which worried me for a minute, so we went 1-10 scale of pain, which progressed quite quickly from 8-8-8-6-3) I figured it would take time to work so I made him put my new big dildo in the strap on.
I think I got a little carried away with the humiliation and told him to get the lubricant because I would need it for such a big fat cock, not like his pathetic little penis.
Then he fucked me…I haven’t been fucked like that in a long time. I felt so full and so horny, this was the perfect dildo! And all the time I was watching my pet’s little face as he ploughed away… it was amazing.
I came so hard, and so wet. My g-spot had been rammed senseless. I could feel the fluids gushing over the dildo and down over pet’s little cock. He knew I’d loved every second of it.
Then he tried to fuck me with his own penis. It was as good as ever, but I wasn’t going to tell him that! I was still horny after he came, so I went back to the strap-on… more than a few times! Being fucked with it, then riding it as hard as I could. I was loving every minute of it.
Pet was a little frustrated that he wasn’t getting much “fun”. I did play with milking for a little while, but I was too horny to concentrate, so I wrapped him up in the body bag and hood, sat on his face for a while, and then went back to riding the dildo.
Previously I was worried about the “not being fucked” part of chastity. I love being fucked, I thought I was going to miss my pet… but now I can’t wait!
He went to the bathroom at some point and I was just sooooooooo relaxed, sprawled naked on the bed, not shy at all, just calm… waiting for more, and he looked at me and said “omg, your sex drive has come back” like it was a double edged sword!
He was very quiet for the rest of the evening. We went out to dinner in a lovely pub and it was very romantic, and he would mention every so often how hard I’d ridden the new dildo, and how his cock used to have the same effect.
This morning I feel truly fucked. I really feel like I’ve had the long fucking sessions we used to have when we first got together.
In short… I’m a very happy Mistress today! (And still horny!)

EXCITING NEWS!

We have purchased a domain name...
We have purchased the software...
We are working on setting up the forums...

We will keep you posted!

Website hell...

My regular chastity website is down again. Not that I've posted there much lately because it refuses to remember any password I use. I have to keep reregistering, and tbh, I can't be bothered with it!

I noticed another chastity forum pop up due to it's regulars being annoyed they can't access *their* regular chastity website. Both those websites were horribly simple and just plain....well... plain!

Methinks it may be time to revisit our webhosting dreams.

I won't protect you...

Things aren’t fabulous here lately. Haven’t been for a long time.
I have huge problems if my sexual needs aren’t met, and my pet appears to have no desire to fulfil these needs at the moment.
Everything has returned to a dreary vanilla… only worse.
Sex is now the traditional “jump on top, fuck for less than a minute, feel terrible, jump off and sulk”.
Foreplay has vanished. If I even attempt to regain some sort of intimacy I am groped in return.
Anyway, by the by…
Yesterday we had an argument. I tried my hardest to turn things around and was promptly taken for granted.
I attempted to initiate some form of sex in the morning, but pet was too tired. Once I began to think about it, I was actually relieved. I can no longer deal with this “woe is me, I’m crap in bed business”
Today things went from bad to worse, with an ensuing thrashing about of the beloved Facebook.
My pet has mainly female friends… slim, pretty, female friends. I am wary and jealous. My husband stopped having sex with me because I am “fat and unattractive” and then went off to fuck a slim, young, pretty Russian. Of course I’m scared. I’m 12 years older than him, I’ve had baby # 4 in the last year, I’ve gained 2 or 3 stone and I hate myself.
I do not feel any inch the Goddess or Mistress, and with this attitude I’m sure you agree… I do not deserve such a title.
What struck me most about the whole argument is that he said “I won’t protect you” and continued (I can’t remember the exact words) to explain that he would not consider my feelings and my irrational jealousy and would not go out of his way to prevent me from being hurt.
I have yet to sort out exactly how I feel about this. I go from despairing (I need to be looked after) to angry (well fuck you, I’ll go party my ass off and see if I can hook myself a younger, slimmer, more virile stud).
Despite the fact that he has just turned up with a Starbucks (didn’t speak, just put it down next to me) in an attempt to reconcile, I think he has probably just said the worst thing I’ve ever heard.
Maybe I’m over-reacting. But I feel seriously hurt.
I need to think…